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LIFE’S MYSTERIOUS WAYS OF KNOCKING ON MY DOOR

QUESTION ON OPENING NEW DOORS OF NEW "CHANCES" ...

Do you ever find yourself wondering and pondering over what truly is the purpose of your life? Like life is beckoning you to explore and open new doors? Do you feel restless, like you are getting a chance that you aren't seeing and taking? Do you feel that life, in its own mysterious ways, is knocking on your door? Say, I do see the "offered" chance and am ready to unlock new doors- but how? 

- Restless In Richland, NJ

We asked Anisha Singh, MD, a  physician, a certified holistic nutritionist, a certified holistic health counselor, a certified mindful eating expert who is also trained in sexual health and spiritual psychology.

READ HER RESPONSE ...

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LIFE’S MYSTERIOUS WAYS OF KNOCKING ON MY DOOR


I was in deep introspection about what truly was the purpose of my being on earth. As I sat to ponder and journal, a line just flew out of my head-


‘Life does not give chances to people who do not take the chances that life gives’


I shared my feelings with my dearest friend. From a whole page of feelings, he picked this line and quoted it back to me. It had a profound effect on him. Hmm… That got me thinking. What was about this line that made it so brilliant. I realized that each one of us is struggling with this very fundamental question.


What are the chances that life has ever given us? Did I ever get an honest chance? Did I recognize that chance? Did I just waste away my life? Did I miss the boat? In the rat race of career, money, meeting the expectations of, first, my parents, and then my spouse, and then my kids, did I forget to live for myself? 


You may think these questions are just esoteric. But are they? You might think these questions do not have relevance in your life. But have you become that irrelevant? To whom? To yourself perhaps. You may even think you are too ‘simple minded’ to think of such ‘deep’ questions. But may I ask you- the ‘simple minded brother and sister- Why have you lost depth in yourself? Why should these questions not matter to you? Do you not matter to yourself even this much that such questions have any place in your life? What have you reduced your self to? Just a wife? Just a mother? Just an employee? Just a business owner? Just a doctor? Just an engineer? Why? Why have you reduced yourself to just roles? Why have you reduced yourself to just a machine that produces money for the family? Why have you, my dearest, reduced yourself to a vessel that produces good cooked food? Are you not more than that? Is there not more to you? Yes! Of course there is. Then why are you hiding it? What are you afraid of? Who are you pleasing, my dearest? 


No one! No one truly is being pleased by you. Have you noticed that no matter how hard you try, your aging mother is still upset with you? No matter what you do your retired dad is still not pleased with you. No matter how much you earn, your wife is still not happy half the time with you. No matter how much you provide for those precious little angles of your, they still remain so embarrassed of you. No matter how much you cook well, your family still takes you for granted? No matter how ‘neutral’ a daughter-in-law you are, your in-laws still think their son could have chosen better. Each one of us is so busy living and pleasing life for others, that when life comes knocking on our door, we don’t even hear it. When life shows its beautiful mysterious ways to reclaim our destiny, our sight is so hazy that we don’t even recognize it. 


Yes! I think there lies some answer to the mystery. For me the mystery is not that life offers us chances, for me the greater mystery is why do we not take it? Why do we shy away from it? And more than that why do we not even see it or hear it? A vague restlessness takes over when life is knocking on our door-‘ door to our heart’- to unlock it. We can feel something. We can perceive a chance but nothing seems clear. At that point, why do we not take a leap of faith and grab that one chance that we had been so desperately seeking? Why? How I love to dwell here. To help you unlock that door ‘cos I did unlock that door. I did listen. I did see. 


And I unlocked the door. And Viola! A beautiful exquisite journey is awaiting me. Have I solved all the mysteries? No way! Unlocking one door only leads to the unexpected joy of knowing that there are more mysterious doors waiting to be opened. Life will keep presenting me with doors and each time I will have to use my ears and eyes wisely as I did this time. 


The question is this- Do you want to unlock your potential? Do you truly so desire? I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have access to such life altering, game changing desires in this lifetime. Many are just stuck at material desires. May be your turn will come in the next birth. But if you are the one whose turn has come in this lifetime, then my dearest, the restlessness that you are feeling will only get worse and worse until you open that door. I can’t paint a lovely picture for you anymore- a false picture of bliss-of roles, and material goals. No matter how hard you keep trying, that beautiful big house you just constructed, or the gorgeous yellow convertible you just bought, or that sexy figure that you saunter in with, or the beautiful face you paint, or the greatest job promotion you just got praised for- none of it will get your restlessness to go away. 


Cry if you must. Breakdown if you must. Bow down if you must. Crawl if you must. Do whatever it takes my dearest but change- change your perceptions- make your eyes clear and your ears sharp. You ask how? Time… Time to self. Stop running from self. How am I running from self?-you ask! By doing everything that takes you away from your feelings. Let me be clearer- Do you watch news all evening or reality TV or any TV shows to ‘relax’? Do you check your ‘Facebook page’ or ‘twitter feed’ every hour? Can you not go to bed without first checking your social media pages? Do you browse all your favorite personalities that you secretly wish you were? If all this is not running away then what is, my dearest? It is. Can you spend half an hour meditating on yourself? That is what is needed to clear your vision and make your ears sharp. Yes! There is only one way to open your eyes and listen to the universe, which resides deep deep within your heart and that is meditation. Only during meditation do you have access to that life that you so desire that is knocking on your door but you just can’t seem to hear or see clearly. 


Now you say- that is too tough! Or better yet, you call yourself  the ‘wise’ one who doesn’t really need to meditate. Life is energy force. The whole universe is an energy vibration and so are you. How can you access that vibrational energy if you don’t allow yourself to get in touch with the vibration that fundamentally you are? Get in tune with life! How? By meditating on self and life. As simple as that. Then you will see- without any handwork, ego will just fall away. Ego which is the biggest obstacle to the life opportunities, is not fond of meditation. Why? Because meditation gives access to the soul- the very being that you are and ego consciousness and soul consciousness can not reside together. Life only gives chances to people who reside in soul consciousness for the most part. I add the word ‘most part’ because after all we are humans and we oscillate between soul consciousness and sense consciousness. 


Question then becomes- where does one even begin? At this point, you might be thinking- Do I need to discard this article? Do I need to look deeper into my life? Which way to go from this point? There is, in my opinion, a very simple way. 


A 3-Step process to begin the process to unlocking the door that will lead you to your next step. 


1st step- Eulogy! 

Yes, let’s all write our eulogy. Imagine you died 20 years from now. On the day of your funeral, many family and friends will get up and say all kind of nice things about you. That is a guarantee. I have yet to hear a ‘bad’ eulogy. It seems everyone who died so far was just the most loving kind soul, even though, I knew them fighting and arguing when they were alive! I have been guilty of smooth talking in a eulogy too! What else could I do? If I said the truth, which was that the person was a combination of good and bad, that the person was loving but my God! Had an ego of a dinosaur, then all the audience would have come after me! So all I did was- say the nice things! Sorry!! That won’t get you anywhere. I am not talking of such superficial eulogy. 

What if You had to speak your eulogy on your death? We are our own harshest critic. We know how ‘good’ and ‘bad’ we have been. We know our secret desires and wishes. We know our hidden closets. We know it all. So what if we had to say our eulogy right at our funeral, what would it say?

 Now there is another twist. We would be reading this eulogy about this person that we lived as- to God- to whom we will surely visit after death! 

And that is not all- since God knows it all, at any point where we lie or fake, God can point his finger at us with a strong current of electric shock! 

So there it is- Write your eulogy, That you, the soul, will be reading to God, at the time of the funeral of the body that you just gave up, with full realization that you will get massive shocks if you twist your words to make yourself sound better or worse.

Some basic questions you will need to answer in this eulogy is as follows-

1. Did you live a purposeful life?

2. Are you completely satisfied with the way you led your life?

3. Are you overall happy with the direction that you took your life into?

4. Do you feel that you were able to reach your highest potential in all areas that you thought you were really good in?

5. How much honesty of thoughts did you have on a daily basis? (mind you this question is not about how honest you appeared to others- remember god knows your thoughts!)

6. Which of the three was the primary guiding force in daily actions of your life- money or love or self-gains? (no right or wrong answer- God is only interested in truth)

7. What are the desires that remain unfulfilled for you in this lifetime that you wish to have the opportunity to fulfill in your next birth?

8. What specific changes would you do in your next life if God chooses to send you back on earth as a healthy newborn?

9. Would you like to have another shot at life as a human again?

10. If yes, why? If no, why?

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Ok! Fair enough? 10 questions to guide you in this eulogy. 


2nd step- 20 years after death (40 years from today)- social media


20 years after death, if you were on Wikipedia or google search- 

what would you like to see it say about you? Who were you? What were your accomplishments? What wonderful things did you do for mankind or the universe that makes you worthy to be researched on? So now lets take a step back. Sometimes we think as long as our loved ones say that we were loving and caring in our eulogy, that we have led a purposeful life. But truly do we feel that? So how about we write our own Wikipedia entry. Or whatever website you love. Don’t write as if it is happening today. Imagine you died 20 years from now and then 20 years after that, some teenager is looking to draw some inspiration from your life. What will you like that child to see? Who was this person named Anisha? So go ahead and finish writing that. 

Ok! Let me give you a few questions to get started. You can extrapolate from there.

1. Define this person Anisha ( I am just using myself as an example. You don’t have to define me place your name instead)

2. What was her childhood like? Was there anything in her childhood that would give this teenager (in 2065) some light, some hope- that if she can make it, so can I?

3. What were her contributions to society in her lifetime? 

4. What were her struggles?

5. What is her personal story of triumph?

6. What were her areas if strengths?

7. What were her weaknesses?

8. What was her spiritual foundation? 

9. What were her achievements?

10. What were her failures?


I would advice you to take time in each step. Don’t just read this article and start writing. Pause. Ponder. Time. Sit. Meditate. Think. Feel. And only when you feel ready and when you have uninterrupted time without kids or spouse around, then sit down and finish one step at one time. 

You may need to correct the eulogy a few times to get to the core essence of you. Don’t stop. Keep going. This exercise done right, once, will reveal a whole lot about what and how you want to lead your life from this point forward, than reading thousands of books. Books can guide us but are generalized. This eulogy is just you- custom made for a person as unique and as custom made as you. God did not make another one of you- you are as custom made as can be, then why should your eulogy not be as special and unique as you? 


After you are done with step one, pause… think again. Don’t jump into the 2nd step. It is a much longer vision. The lens has to change. The times have to change. The persona has to change. You have to become larger than life itself for step 2. So go ahead, take time… grow. Expand. Stretch. Imagine. Fly. Fly high. Day dream. And then when you feel you are high enough, and you have the uninterrupted time, sit down and write in one go. No breaks. Don’t tell anyone you are doing this exercise. That will tend to corrupt the thoughts. You will be influenced with their energetic thoughts without even being aware of it. So do it by yourself, for yourself. 

When you feel complete, then read the 3rd step.



3rd  step- 100 years after death (120 years from today)- History book



100 years after your death, you are reborn. God gives you the special privilege to remember your last birth and the life you lived. You now get to come and reap the benefits of the harvest you sowed- 100 years ago. So here, you get to see in the larger context of culture and religion and politics and humanity, what did your life truly mean?

So write down a chapter in history book- about your culture- how it has evolved in last 100 years and how you played a role in the advancement of the times. Maybe a whole chapter seems too ambitious for you. How about a page? A paragraph? A line? At least the name? Even that seems too ambitious for you? Then you can think of yourself as the anonymous contributor. What was your contribution? Can you look around you in this new birth and say to your dear friend- Hey, look there- that statue of liberty- I was the lead supervisor for it. Hey you see that girl walking safely on the streets of India? I was part of the movement of breaking the silence on groping. Big or small- anything can be significant in 100 years- what was your role? Can you write it?

Maybe I can guide you with few questions-

1. Did you do anything to make it to the pages of history?

2. In the pages of history, are you seen as a hero – who was the game changer?

3. In the pages of history, are you seen as a peacemaker who lived humbly?

4. In the pages of history, are you seen as the villain?

5. In the pages of history, would you never appear because you were just one of the millions barely meeting the daily expectations of everyone around you?

6. Do you regret not making into the pages of history?

7. What thirst do you see now that you see or not see your name in the pages of history?

8. What would you have dedicated those last 20 years of life to, had you known you had a 2nd chance at life?

9. Can you now see the missed chances of life?

10. What seemed like an obstacle then to fulfilling your life’s purpose, how would you view it now?


Mind you, these questions are just guidelines. These questions may mean nothing to you and you may have your own set of questions. Your questions are your own. Your answers are yours too. Not for your spouse. Not for your friend. This is not a dinner topic conversation. This is your chance at life. This is your doorway to your heart. This is the seed. This is what it takes to come out of your restless phase. 


So go ahead and scribble. It’s my time to start scribbling too. I have too many beautiful doors to unlock in this lifetime.


 By Anisha Singh, MD

Do You Have A Question for Anisha?  

Anisha Singh, MD is a physician with a holistic approach to life, a certified holistic nutritionist, a certified holistic health counselor, a certified mindful eating expert and is trained in sexual health. and spiritual psychology.

 For all her degrees, what excites Anisha the most today is being true to herself and her inner calling! She is passionate about acting and community service.  She is a wellness chair at a non-profit organization ( Asian Community Alliance) and has been instrumental in setting up programs for Indian seniors and Bhutanese refugee community. She lives in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her motto in life- 'love is the answer to everything'.

Needless to say, Mrs. Singh is well qualified to answer any question you may have- be it about health, fitness, weight management, diet or on personal life and issues you face in life! Ask here or email at desideewar@gmail.com 

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